... y el mundo sigue girando. Aquí estoy de nuevo, unas semanas y mil experiencias después.
Mi premisa a la hora de crear un blog, allá por el verano de 2004, fue la de explicar lo que me viniese en gana, disfrutar y hacer disfrutar, desahogarme... que me sirviese de igual manera como válvula de escape o para explicar las mayores tonterías de mi día a día.
La verdad es que motivos para escribir a lo largo de estas últimas semanas no me han faltado, pero sí valor para sentarme a contarlo. No he tenido un buen final de 2008 y comienzo de 2009, pero el poso que ha quedado de esa experiencia, con final más feliz del que esperaba, creo que me ha cambiado. Me gusta sentir que voy madurando, a pesar de mis 28 años y mis eternas sensaciones encontradas de inseguridad y de que me voy a comer el mundo, todo a la vez.
Entre visita y visita a uno y otro médico, apoyando la cabeza en las butacas de las frías salas de espera, me ha dado tiempo a reflexionar y he llegado a la conclusión de que he madurado. La vida (siempre a ostias) te hace crecer como persona. Y de las malas experiencias ya hace tiempo que aprendí a sacar lo positivo. Y hoy veo más luz, más color y más optimismo. Porque, al fin y al cabo, creo que la vida acaba siendo tan luminosa como nosotros queramos.
Por eso, mi balance habitual del año que ha acabado y mi declaración de intenciones para el que empieza va a ser diferente. Porque ya no me preocupa mi hipoteca, ni mi coche, ni siquiera mi trabajo. Me preocupa seguir vivo, sentirme vivo y sonreir. Porque uno acaba dándose cuenta de que la verdadera felicidad sólo la dan los pequeños momentos cotidianos a los que, en muchas ocasiones, no prestamos la atención que se merecen preocupados por otros asuntos más banales. De manera que, dicho esto, mi 2008 ha sido:
Ricard despertándome cada mañana a las 8:00 dándome un beso antes de ir a la Universidad.
Descubrir al levantar la persiana que no está nublado y Collserola y Montserrat lucen radiantes al fondo.
Recibir una inyección extra de energía cada mañana cantando Love Song de Sara Bareilles mientras, alrededor, los demás conductores aguantan con mala cara los atascos diarios en la autopista (excepto los que ponen cara de sorpresa mirando un 206 con un gilipollas dentro cantando mientras sonríe).
Recibir un mail o un sms de alquien especial, sólo para interesarse por cómo estoy. Y darme cuenta que, a pesar de los años y los errores cometidos, hay gente que sigue muy cerca. Que cuenten conmigo. Que me hagan ver que me equivoco. Que me hagan entender que soy especial para alguien.
La oportunidad que la Red me ha dado de conocer a gente estupenda, que no necesitan saber cómo es mi cara para dejarme un mensaje de ánimo, un consejo o cualquier estupidez para hacerme sonreir.
Poner el punto final a una noticia, entrevista o reportaje y pensar "Joder, qué bien me ha quedado!". Que me lo diga mi jefa, eso ya es para nota. Aunque sé que le gusta, porque nunca me corrije nada.
Los días libres que Ricard se toma en el trabajo "sólo para estar contigo...".
Las comidas con Irene en el japonés de Almeda. Los mensajes de Dolceta diciendo que me echa de menos. Lauri y Ali en mi casa... ¡MI CASA!... quién me lo iba a decir... Notar que cada vez hay más gente que dice "te quiero" porque lo sienten.
Los pases "por el morro" al concierto de Pereza en Hospi y al campo del Espanyol.
Convivir agusto con mis contradicciones. Disfrutar lo mismo escuchando hasta la saciedad el último disco de Señor Trepador o cantando a dúo con Ricard en el coche el 4 Minutes de Madonna. O leyendo los artículos que publican inteligentes eminencias en cualquier materia en El País mientras sigo de fondo el desarrollo de "Granjero busca esposa" o "Gran Hermano".
Un perfil en Facebook que cada día incorpora nuevos recuerdos.
Llegar a casa de mis padres y oler a... LENTEJAS! Mi madre me sigue haciendo sus insuperables lentejas aunque ya no viva con ella.
Y con los 29 acechando a la vuelta de la esquina, no pido mucho más que lo que pedí el año pasado. Que el paso del tiempo me traiga arrugas pero que no me vuelva un gilipollas. Que pueda seguir disfrutando con cada momento, que es único, que no se va a volver a repetir. Y sonreir y seguir haciendo sonreir. El tiempo que dure la función.
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58 comentarios:
Tú haces que se te diga "te quiero"... Poca gente se lo merece más que tú, pequeño!
Mjo
Yo también te quiero y te sigo echando de menos...!
DOLCETA
... justo lo q necesita leer en un dia como hoy :)
eres Genial, y...te lo digo d verdad, y lo sabes, q TE KIERO!!! nose como decirlo ya!!q t exo d menos..
Se te ha olvidado decir, otra cosa q has exo ste año, y han sido tus super vacacionessss d verano en el sur!! nooo?? y para mi, algo de lo mejor tb de este año pasado..tu visita, tu compañia y la de Ricard :)
un besito, GRANDE! :)
PD: t mande una cosita al correo el dia d tu cumple..xo nunca entrasss no?
Desde que te encontré por Facebook y te tengo más localizado, bajé la guardia de mirar por aquí para saber qué tal te iba todo... hoy, por casualidad, me he acercado, y he visto que has actualizado!
No sé lo que ha pasado, pero bueno, tampoco me hace falta saberlo para mandarte todos los ánimos que puedo desde aquí. Sabes que, aunque lejos, y a pesar del tiempo que ha pasado, en Bilbo sigues teniendo una amiga para todo lo que necesites!! :-)
Un abrazo muy muy fuerte, Rub!!
Nago
Hola colega,te encontré esnifando.
Seguro que la de los pájaros esta trucada. De todas maneras esta chula. Un saludo tocayo.
pekeño!!! ya por lo menos, por lo menos, te habrás leido el libro de Agatha Christie no..?? jejeje
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